With Father’s Day coming up, I wanted to address the unique grief of men after an infant or a pregnancy loss. Typically, the focus of support is on the mother. I know men grieve too. The baby had dreams and hopes attached to it unique to you. Maybe you were looking forward to having a little “football player” or someone to take your name. Infant and pregnancy loss is devastating to BOTH parents.
Parents are often dismayed to discover they grieve differently. It is important to avoid judging each other. There are real differences between how men and women express grief. This is largely due to our culture. Men often feel pressure to “be strong” and not to cry. I know that that a man’s grief may be more heartfelt than it appears to be from the outside.
Grief counseling can be beneficial to express some of the emotions associated with loss. Grief that isn’t expressed can go underground. Grief can be hidden in silence, secrecy, action, work and addiction. If you are feeling stuck, you and your partner may benefit by talking to a professional grief counselor.